Coming Home

We have arrived back in Trinidad to find Milly looking brilliantly white, patiently waiting to be put back in the water where she belongs.

Prior to our trip back to Toronto and during our seven weeks there, I have spent some time considering a few questions commonly asked and what our nomadic life means with respect to those questions.

First, “Where are you from?”  That’s an easy one when you have lived in one place all your life minus a few years here and there.  We are from Canada and, even more specifically, from Toronto.  

Canada follows us everywhere!

When cruisers ask, “Where are you coming from?”  they often mean where have you sailed from last.  This is a somewhat confusing answer - is it the last port or the port of origin or what?  Even more enigmatically, we proudly fly the Canadian flag but will most likely never sail the boat to our fine country.  Instead, Milly’s origin is Argentina, an answer that baffles many.

Next, “Where do you live?”  A bit difficult.  We could say Toronto or Canada but we have only been there for seven weeks in 2015 and maybe not at all in 2016.  More accurately, we live on Milly.  I’m comfortable with that response.  But if the answer to the question needs to be a place, well, Milly wanders from port to port.  The longest we have been in any one place is San Fernando, Argentina which we may never return to and here, in Chaguaramas, Trinidad, which appeals as a place to get boat work done but from which we will sail as soon as we can.  Actually, we live on the sea.  Okay, so the answer to the question is, “We live on the sea in Milly.”

The question that I struggle with most is, “Where is home?”  When we travel, we fall easily into referring to our hotel or, even more so, our rented apartment, as home as in “let’s go home” even though we are both aware that this is not really the case.  Home, when we travel, is where we lay our heads.

However, when we were about to return to Toronto or when we arrived back here, we said we were going home or had been home.  We referred to Toronto as home - feeling each time that we were betraying Milly.  When we arrived in Toronto, indeed, the place felt like home even though we had only lived in our rented condo for a month before we left for Argentina.  Our friends and family were there.  And the streets, people and ambiance were so familiar, it felt like we had never left.  After all, we had only been away ten months.  Places don’t change that fast.

But we have given up our apartment and moved a few things into a 5’ x10’ storage space.  Our daughter, Emily, moved to New York City the day after we returned to Trinidad and our son, Tom, is as nomadic as we are.  So we no longer have a space in Toronto to call home and our little nuclear family has dispersed.  Still friends and some family remain and the familiarity makes returning exciting and easy.

Home in the Kawartha Lakes

We have a cottage where our children grew up and where we have lived as a family each summer.  We have stuffed it full of some of our city furniture and it holds some of our parents things - those things that we are sentimentally attached to and find difficult to discard.  Our precious photos of our children and family at all ages and stages are there.  On the cold, damp, windy days that we spent there on this return trip we were very cozy and comfortable.  It is a three season place that we love but is it home?  It’s always been “the cottage” but I guess it’s home when we are there.

Which leaves Milly.  Again, when we are away on a hike, for example, we might say “let’s go home”.  And she is familiar and comfy for us.  When returning after a hot expedition ashore, her cool indoors is a relief to come home to.  Even better is a dive into the ocean from her transom and a rinsing fresh water shower on the transom steps.  On passage nights, her helm is headquarters for radar and chart, stars and bioluminescence.  From her bow we delight in playing dolphins and secure her in ports with her anchor.

At home on Milly

 I prefer to believe that we are at home on Milly.  Her interior still predominantly has the elegant Antares touch.  Boats have built-in furniture and photos or paintings are tough to put up - it’s difficult to personalize a new boat.  On this trip home, I brought a couple of rugs and I’m going to add some watercolours and cushions when we come across them in our travels.  My happy mission this season is to make our home homey.

If home is a space, then Milly is it.  If home is a place, then Canada and Toronto are it….I guess.

Home in Canada - the cottage

The answer to the question, “Where is home?” still makes me a little uneasy but I consider myself very privileged to be able to say that we live on Milly on the sea.  Perhaps that is why cruisers are called liveaboards.

Our wandering home, Milly